Written & Designed by Karen Mahoney
Illustrated by Alexandr Ukolov, Baba Studio
Artwork by Irena Třísková
[I don’t know what it means that the illustrations & the artwork are by two different people]

I asked, “What do I need in order to illustrate my kings?” and drew the ten of wands.

“Key words & phrases: taking on more than you can deal with; feeling burdened and crushed; letting work overwhelm you; too much action leads to exhaustion; allowing things to get out of hand.”

Also: “The Ten of Wands is often about someone who feels overburned and overwhelmed by tasks that they themselves have taken on…” Feeling burnt out.

I never much liked the story of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. I thought the boy should have known better and just gotten to work. I suppose the work seemed daunting. He thought, as we all do at times, there must be an easier way. Now it is I, searching through the old sorcerer’s books for some spell that I might cast to lighten my load.

I am, indeed, a bit burnt out on this project. It has been going on for so long that it ought to just be done by now. If I was a bit more consistent in my efforts, perhaps I’d be finished. But at the rate of about five cards a year, this sort of thing does drag out. It’s not as if I haven’t had the time. Today, (or yesterday, as it were,) for example, I did absolutely nothing whatsoever (unless surfing the net counts as something) until 6:30 p.m., whereupon I began to panic and finally started finishing a card I began two months ago! I didn’t even bring any wood. I’m going to wake up to a 50-degree house. What a sloth!

The truth is, I now have four more cards to illustrate before the end of March. As someone kindly pointed out, there is no way I am ever going to finish this if I wait until after I have a baby. This is what I need in order to illustrate my kings: I need to knuckle-down and draw. I need to fill the well myself. There is no magic answer for me. I have taken on a large project, it is true, but it gets no closer to being done while gathering virtual dust on my hard-drive.

I have always had trouble finishing things.

I am posting this first-thing in the wee hours because
my day is booked with things I did not do the day before—
  unfortunately I still need to get to bed before I can wake up.