We went to the Car(r) Cemetery. Whole car(r) families are buried there.

We found Father and Mother Car(r)—

Their ancestor, Parker Car(r), who seems to have lived a very sedentary lifestyle—

And Parker’s wife, Sarah—

And Ernest A. Car(r), who was always serviced by the most honest of mechanics—

We also found Mary, whoever she was— a wagon, perhaps.

Many people doubt that cars have funerals, but I have proof.

Here, for example, is the funeral of a maroon 2005 Prius, as documented by my brother, Dan Shanahan.