Eight of Cups — A. Daniloff 2012 Tarot

Saturday, March 9th, 2013

Tarot of Alexander Daniloff

Learning to Leave Behind Things that have Ceased to be of Use

 

The summer of 1993, when I was 20 years old, I exited the Benjamin Rush Recovery center in Syracuse, NY, where I had been an inpatient in the Eating Disorders Unit for five weeks. As much as I hated it there, I was terrified to leave. The remission rate for eating disorders is dismally low.

 

The previous semester in college I had: received a perfect 4.0 in all classes of my double major of English and Biology including the dreaded biochemistry of which I honestly had little interest; joined the cross-country team, earned myself Rookie-of-the-Year, MVP, and raced the national championships; and published poetry in a snooty magazine. I had also been bulimic, among other things, throwing up between eight and twenty times a day. I was a physiological, psychological disaster.

 

Upon leaving the recovery center, I moved into a little room with a hole in the wall in a moderately large house in Oswego, NY, where I lived unsupervised by doctors, nurses, and shrinks. I gave myself one allowance and one rule: I could eat any I wanted, as long as I did not throw up.

 

Change takes a long time.

 

It was ten years before I allowed myself to say, “Okay, maybe I shouldn’t eat just anything.” Since then, I have been exploring ways to heal and recover through food rather than in spite of food.

 

I got better.

I think I am getting better.

Anyhow, I thought I was getting better.

 

I was recently diagnosed with Graves Disease. My visit with the endocrinologist was more or less an explanation of a handful of ways to destroy my disobedient thyroid. Shocking, really, as I feel more-or-less okay other than chronic insomnia and lethargy and stinky farts. Why would I want to get rid of my thyroid? Why can’t we all just get along?

 

Some people have managed Graves Disease through diet. It means a lot of rules. I wish I had an expert to guide me. Nonetheless, I am going to try.

 

Healing means:

learning to leave behind behaviors which have ceased to be of any use

and finding new behaviors to fill the void.

Eight of Cups — Aquarian Tarot

Friday, March 8th, 2013

…but what IS change?

8 of cups aquarian tarot

 

Things that can be changed by our actions:

  • the nature of one’s self and one’s own actions (this is the most difficult change to enact)
  • the appearance of our selves and all things in the world and beyond, both sentient and non-sentient (this happens constantly, both intentionally and unintentionally)
  • the psychology or mindset of living things (our actions cause others to have reactions, some of which have lasting repercussions)

 

Things that can not be changed by our actions:

  • the base material of which something is made (we can enable reactions that do so)
  • the actions, reactions and beliefs of other people places or things (we can act as catalysts that enable or disable them to change themselves)

 

 

VERSES

 

God, give me grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

—as phrased by Reinhold Niebuhr, 1943

 

 

For every ailment under the sun

There is a remedy, or there is none;

If there be one, try to find it;

If there be none, never mind it.

—Mother Goose, 1695

 

 

 

WORDS

—from Webster’s New Twentieth Century Dictionary, Unabridged 2nd Edition, 1971

 

Action

n. The fact or process of doing something; the state of acting or moving; exertion of power or force.

 

Belief

n. An acceptance of something as true or real; a firmly held opinion or conviction.

 

Catalyst

n. A substance which either speeds up or slows down a (chemical) reaction, but which itself undergoes no permanent chemical change. [The mechanistic explanation of catalysis is complex.]

 

Change

v. To make or become different; to transform; to arrive at a fresh phase (moon); to move from one to another; to use another instead of.

 

Serenity

n. The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled. Clearness; brightness.

Eight of Cups — Tarot of the Absurd

Friday, March 1st, 2013

Many years ago, an acquaintance of mine told me a dream. I like listening to dreams. I no longer remember the dream, precisely. All I remember is my impression. My impression of his dream was this image: 

Something here needs to change.

 

 

 

(to be read aloud, except in the case of parenthesis)

 

Change.

 

(inhale)

 

Let go, let go.

Fill your lungs and then let go.

 

(bigger inhale)

 

Let go, let go.

Let go, let go.

Fill your lungs, fill your lungs.

Fill your lungs and then let go.

 

(biggest inhale)

 

Let go, let go.

Let go, let go.

Fill your lungs, fill your lungs.

Fill your lungs and then let go.

Let go.

 

(full release)

 

 

(full inhale)

 

 

(full release)

 

 

(full inhale)

 

 

(full release)

 

 

(full inhale)

 

 

(full release)

 

 

(etc., as necessary)

Eight of Vessles — The Wildwood Tarot

Monday, March 26th, 2012

Will WorthingtonArtist: Will Worthington

Authors: Mark Ryan & John Matthews

 

I want to learn the meanings of the cards. I am practicing finding meaning in the image before I look it up. I do have a lot of trouble focusing. It is difficult to ask a question when I don’t want to know anything, really. All I want is peace and happiness. Health is implied. Wealth is not. I suppose I don’t need a question.

 

The future is always uncertain. Anyone who thinks the future is certain is either self-deceptive or miserable. With this mindset, predictive use of the tarot deck doesn’t interest me. The present is always certain, tho it is generally impossible to see the certainty of the present in the present moment. Despite how certain we often are about what we think happened, the past fades into greater and greater uncertainty as time wears on— it is the future in reverse. Thinking such jumbled thoughts of uncertainty, I draw the Eight of Vessles.

 

I generally see cards in a positive light. They are affirmations. The keyword on this card is “rebirth.” In the Hindu religion, the concept of what we call “rebirth” is really “redeath,” for each birth necessitates its own death. After the final death there is no birth, whereas after the final birth death still has yet to come. The small vessels are individuals whose life pours out into the big vessel. The big vessel births itself once again into smaller, seemingly individual vessels. Nothing is truly individual; each necessitates the other. This continues the final death: birth as the river, the unifying entity, that place in which all souls are one. But is this truly the end? For the river itself flows on.

 

The authors write, “You have endured the past, its gifts were hard won; now the challenge of the future unfolds. Grasp it and shape it in your hands as you would have it manifest in your life.”